So contrary to what you first said, you did not actually lose your roms, you just lost the imported data. Saying you lost your imported roms would lead many users to think LB actually deleted the rom files from your hard drive. So It I think that caused a bit of confusion.
LB updates, even if you store your roms inside the LB folder never touches anything of the actual files you import. It will update its needed program files, folders, etc. but does not touch any roms or even emulators you add or might even have in a folder that has not been added. We have seen numerous reported crashes over the years and files might have been corrupted, but lost roms has not been something we have seen.
Reading back through this posts I can honestly say Neil never treated you like garbage. Nor did I ever see him call you names. He did make a comment about a perceived lack of patience. That was about the most terse of the things he said in any of his posts.
I do not think anymore needs to be said about who was right, wrong, rude or otherwise or it will lead to this thread spiraling. So I think this is a good stopping point for that. We can focusing on figuring out what happened and getting you back up and sorted.
Why the backup would not work could be many things. One of the most common reasons we see is abrupt closing of LB/BB and the software does not have enough time to properly save the backup. With the last 4 being bad it leads me to believe you had more underlying issues than that could have led up to the LB update crash. Have you had instances in the past of LB or BB being stuck open and having to force close it or LB/BB abruptly closing on you?